I feel most alive amidst The lilting arpeggio of birdsong– Shoes crunching through scattered leaves And my eyes lifted to a sky shimmering With a web of verdant limbs I feel most alive when My fingers pluck at nylon strings– Eyes closed, head tossed back, Mouth bursting at the seams with Thought-felt phrases knitted from the soul. I feel most alive when The melody of pure laughter … [Read more...]
This humble, human vessel I call my own always seems to be brimming over with an abundance of gratitude this time of year. As a December baby, the first day of New Year on the Gregorian calendar shortly follows my own completed rotation around the sun. As a result, the final month of the year becomes an extended period of personal reflection, retrospection and appreciation for the experiences and … [Read more...]
Trauma is never simply a single, isolated event. Its impact occurs in cascading waves that ripple out in multiple directions at disparate periods in time. Present trauma builds upon trauma from our past–the experiences are distinct, yet not separate. While an initial traumatic event might have already happened once, its impact and repercussions will be felt anew again and again, until we can learn … [Read more...]
For most of my adulthood, it’s felt as if I’ve been waltzing between an addictive race to accomplishment and the exhausted paralysis of perfectionism. It’s not surprising, really, that there are so many of us stuck in this precarious pas de deux. The frantic rhythm of modern society seems to thrive off this fear of not measuring up and its most reliable partner–an addiction to busyness. In a … [Read more...]
Like so many of us, I remember where I was when the horrific events of 9/11 unfolded in my consciousness. It’s not a particularly salient story, but is is mine. It began with a phone call from Sheri, my best friend at the time. “Are you awake yet,” her muffled voice asked. It was just barely 9. Used to my friends ragging me about being a night owl notoriously late to rise, I answered … [Read more...]
On Monday, August 21, a solar eclipse will fully cross the United States, from coast to coast, for the first time in almost a century. Qigong master Mingtong Gu writes that a total solar eclipse has alchemical–or transformative–energy and symbolizes "the direct earthly experience of cosmic and celestial energy -- pure potential and power -- for good or bad." As whatever we hold in our … [Read more...]
I know I’m not alone in trying to process the terror and violence that recently erupted in Charlottesville, VA. The brutal altercation between rallying white supremacists and counter-protestors has slammed more tidal waves of horror, disbelief and sorrow about race relations against the rocky foundation of our country. It has compelled a period of deep reflection on what the United States of … [Read more...]
When dystonia dares to once again rear its twisted head after an extended remission of all but the most benign symptoms, it can sometimes feel like a personal failing on my healing journey. I chastise myself for the lapses in judgment that led to making unwise choices. I berate myself for knowing better than to behave in such foolish ways: I shouldn’t have had a cheat day (or three) of so many … [Read more...]
Rather than list a myriad of well-meaning resolutions and share a stream of optimistic goals for the upcoming year, I’ve decided to welcome the new year here in a more unconventional manner. One of the greatest endeavors I embarked upon during 2016 was working toward a true recovery of my creative expression. So perhaps it’s not too surprising that I felt inspired to commemorate my journey … [Read more...]
On this first day of the last year of my thirties, I have come to embrace certain truths about my self and my life. First, I know what I am not. I am not defined by the story I or others have told, do tell, or will tell about my life. I am not my illness. I am not my pain. I am not my body. I am not my achievements. I am not my failures. I am not my job. I am not my financial footing. I am not my … [Read more...]